Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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