when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
