I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
