We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm like, not good at living.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
