bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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