That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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