I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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