Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
