Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
