I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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