with your own penis?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
