Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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