I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
