I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize