the new term for farting is butt boxing.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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