You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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