You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
