Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
