why didn't you poke me back
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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