i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I see more hoeing in ur future
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