i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
