What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize