I looked at my own cervix.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize