I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize