If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
