There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
