just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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