Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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