so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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