if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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