Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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