oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
