it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
