Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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