is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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