he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
