you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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