New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
