I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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