The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
