I'm lost and stupid without you.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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