Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Who did Billy Mays play for?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
