Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
