have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
