My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
