Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize