I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
