And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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