I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize