i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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