stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
