I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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