I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
