There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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