new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
