so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
