New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
