Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
