All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
