all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
