i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
