was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
