Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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