My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
